Lethal Lemon Bars: MURDER IN THE MIX 9 Page 10

  “Are you kidding?” I manage to manufacture a disgruntled laugh. “Rumor has it, the Ashford Homicide Department can’t tell a victim from a suspect.”

  The two of them chuckle at Noah’s expense, and Keelie joins in.

  “That’s because you’re the best, Lot!” She slaps me over the back and cringes.

  Clayton tips his head back. “That’s right. You’re the sleuth. Hey, you’re not here investigating us, now are you?” A low guttural laugh emits from him, but his dark eyes remain pinned to mine with the accusation.

  “Are you kidding? Not only have I met Francesca, but I happen to know from my own experiences with my fiancé, nobody penetrates the secretarial barrier. I didn’t in a million years expect to actually see you.”

  Ryan gives a wistful shake of the head. “Nobody does security detail like Francesca. I guess it was fate that brought us together.”

  Keelie leans in. “So, who do you think killed Nessa? I heard it was the girl with the disco in Leeds.”

  I freeze a moment. Keelie’s mouth just prattled off words faster than my brain could process them.

  Clayton and Ryan exchange a quick glance, and Ryan gives another nod.

  Clayton’s chest swells like a barrel with his next breath. “Nope. None of the girls we know. I mean, Nessa had some tension with Vivian, but it’s not what you think.” He winces as if I’m twisting his arm to get another word from him. “It’s not a motive for murder. Viv has a cousin named Doreen Stearns. She works down at some dinner theater slash burlesque show in Leeds—the Can-Can Room, I think.” He looks to Ryan and takes a deep breath. “Look, Viv and I are getting married one day, and I don’t like throwing family under the bus. But Doreen—if she did this—she’s got some serious problems, and I want to see her get the help she needs.”

  “Was Doreen at the party that day?” I shake my head, doing my best to scroll through the hoity-toity guests Cormack introduced me to.

  The fire department rolls in, and I squirm at the sight of that oversized red truck having to waste its precious fuel on a false alarm.

  “That’s the thing”—Clayton glances around before leaning in—“she wasn’t invited. Everyone knew that it was a no-go as far as having Nessa and her in the same room. Nessa put her on the proverbial black list. But she liked Landon. Maybe Landon invited her?”

  “So she was there?” A thought occurs to me. I’m betting Max might know Doreen. I give a quick look around the vicinity, but Max is proving to be a no-show again. I could have really used him to stick around and spy on these two after Keelie and I make our escape.

  “She was there.” Clayton nods. “In fact, she stepped in through the back just after Ryan and I did.”

  “So that means she arrived just moments before Nessa died.”

  Ryan groans, “I saw her diving for those lemon bars as if she couldn’t get one in her hand fast enough.” He closes his eyes a moment. “And she was right next to Nessa.”

  Keelie gasps. “I bet she’s the killer!”

  Both Clayton and Ryan raise their hands as if they wanted nothing to do with it.

  “That’s on you to find out.” Clayton tips his head my way. “We’ll catch you ladies later. I think they just cleared us to head on in.”

  They follow the masses back inside just as a couple of sheriff’s deputies and a frantic Francesca head this way.

  I grab Keelie by the arm. “Run for it!”

  We make a mad dash for my Honda, but the deputies catch up to us before we have the chance to dive for the door.

  The big gruff one takes my hands by force and lands them behind my back. “You’re under arrest.”

  “For what?” I squawk, but deep down I know exactly what, and I’m going to kill Keelie for giving me a record.

  “Pulling a fire alarm is a serious offense. Not to mention, evading an officer and trying to make a break for it. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to read you your Miranda rights.”

  An audible gulp escapes me as I look to Keelie who also happens to be getting the same treatment.

  On the bright side, Fallbrook is still under the jurisdiction of the Ashford Sheriff’s Department, so at least I’ll be seeing Noah today. And if I get thrown into the pokey—I’ll probably get to see Everett as well.

  It looks as if that bath for two is out for the night.

  But thanks to Keelie, I still managed to land in hot water.

  Chapter 12

  The Ashford Sheriff’s Department is a short boxy building that fans out like a labyrinth.

  No sooner are Keelie and I deposited inside than I start shouting for Noah.

  The walls, the floor, a majority of the furniture and fixtures are all beige in here. I recall hearing something about a renovation taking place, new paint, floor, etc., and here we are, the new and questionably improved version, which looks as if it’s screaming for yet another renovation. The scent of burnt coffee resonates in the air, and it’s chilly in here as if they have the air conditioner going full blast.

  The arresting officer, Officer Green, glances back at me, disgruntled.

  I’ve already made it clear that once my boyfriend finds out—I may have taken a bit of liberty there—that he, Officer Mean, would be up sheriff’s creek without a paddle.

  Keelie, however, trumped me once she informed him who her father was, the captain of the sheriff’s department himself, Captain Jack Turner. And, oddly enough, neither Officer Green nor his partner batted a lash—which makes me wonder if they’ve heard those same threats before. Nothing would surprise me anymore.

  We walk by Noah’s office during our long walk of shame, and I howl for him but to no avail. We walk by Detective Ivy Fairbanks office next door, and I spot her tight red bun as she works steadily on something, nose to the grindstone.

  “Ivy!” I shout as I try my best to pause and peer inside, but the officer holding up the rear shoves me along as if I were a common street thug.

  Ivy pops out of her office and begins to follow the shame parade.

  “Oh, thank God,” I groan. “Please get Noah for me. This is all one big huge misunderstanding.” Actually, it’s quite the opposite, but I’m not quite ready to throw Keelie under the bus. But I will. Oh, how I will.

  “Noah is on assignment.” Ivy’s lips pull back with satisfaction as she looks to the female officer cattle prodding us from behind. “To what honor do we owe their presence?”

  “Misdemeanor. Pulling a fire alarm without cause,” the woman chirps, inspiring Officer Green to turn around.

  Officer Green is tall and lean and has an angry smile that makes him look vindictive. I’m not sure if I approve of him patrolling the streets in an effort to keep our citizens safe. It looks to me he gets his jollies from arresting people for no good reason. I’m no legal expert, but an offense of this level is hardly worth keeping my hands strapped behind my back.

  The female officer in the rear confiscated our phones and purses before they ever dunked us into their patrol car, and I’m starting to feel like a hostage situation is taking place.

  Thank God I’m seeing a judge—a very powerful justice of the peace who has access to very powerful attorneys. I plan on suing the pants off the entire sheriff’s department. I don’t care if Keelie’s father runs it.

  Officer Green clicks his tongue. “Would have been a misdemeanor, but the sprinklers went off. I heard two people hurt themselves trying to make it down the stairwell. I’d say that escalates it to a felony.”

  “Felony!” I howl to Keelie, and she rolls her eyes.

  “Lottie, how many times do I have to tell you? I’m untouchable, and so are you.”

  Ivy scoffs and titters. “You keep believing that, princess. A false alarm of this magnitude can land you upwards of two years behind bars and a fine of five thousand dollars.”

  Keelie’s mouth rounds out. “Five grand? Lottie, I’m going to have to borrow some serious cash. I don’t have nearly that much saved up. Of course, I’ll lose my apartment, an
d I’ll have to move in with you. I’ll probably lose my car, too, because I can’t make the payments.”

  “I think you missed the tidbit about prison. I’m pretty sure they take care of room and board for the required amount of time.”

  She stares vacantly ahead as if trying to visualize what this might be like. “I’ll need the bottom bunk, and I can’t do orange. Do you think we can get someone to come in once a week for a mani pedi? I cannot imagine what my toes would look like after two years of zero maintenance.”

  Ivy barks out a laugh. “Don’t worry, girls. Most women’s prisons have an intricate network of inmates who share their less than hygienic talents. Of course, it will cost you something. Nothing is free in life, not even in prison.”

  “We’ll bring cash.” Keelie nods into the lunacy. “Lots and lots of cash.”

  Officer Green turns around. “They roll with a different kind of currency, if you know what I mean. Favors. Lots and lots of favors.”

  I bump Keelie’s shoulder with my own. “Unsavory favors.”

  Another sheriff intercepts us and pulls Officer Green to the side to have a word with him.

  Keelie scoffs. “Told you.” She smirks over to Ivy. “Ten bucks says my father just got wind of this.” She turns to the highly weaponized woman behind us. “I wouldn’t expect a holiday bonus if I were you.”

  Officer Green comes back, scratching his head, literally. “All right, ladies, we’re going this way.” We’re led down a long white corridor that leads to a metal door with a keyed entry, and once I see what’s on the other side, I let out something between a roar and a whimper. Leave it to Keelie’s antics to land us in the pokey.

  We’re trotted down to an empty cell in the back with nothing more than a couple of benches. And no sooner does the oafish officer take off our cuffs and lock us up than I start shaking my bestie.

  “What were you thinking? I can’t go away for two years. Pancake and Waffles will think I’ve abandoned them!”

  “Oh, relax. Your mother will sneak them in. And don’t forget about those boyfriends of yours,” she growls it out accusingly. “I have no one, Lottie! Not even Naomi will want to visit me once they ship me off to Nowheres-Ville. I’m going to cement my standing as the black sheep of the family.”

  “I’m the black sheep of the family, Keelie, remember? You can steal my freedom, but you can’t steal my crappy standing.” I take a deep breath as I try to calm myself for the first time in an hour. “I think we need to set some serious ground rules when it comes to our next investigation.”

  Keelie bursts into tears as her arms collapse around me. “I’m so sorry, Lot. I just thought—heck, I wasn’t thinking. But we’re in this together. It’s you and me, Lottie, through thick and thin.”

  The sound of metal on metal gets our attention, and it’s Officer Green once again, opening up our cage.

  “You—the blonde.” He nods Keelie over, and she bolts out of the cell and down the hall quicker than any apparition I’ve ever met.

  “Wait!” I try to do the same, but he’s locked the door once again and taken off after her. “What about me? Keelie? What happened to thick and thin?”

  “I’ll call you later, Lottie!” Her voice sounds small and distant. “I have to take a nice hot shower. This place gives me the heebie-jeebies!”

  “That makes two of us.”

  I head over to the ice-cold metal bench and think about what I’ve done—which is coincidentally exactly nothing. I suppose I’m an accessory, though. If things go sour, I can always throw Keelie under the proverbial sprinklers and testify that I knew nothing about her plot to start a thunderstorm in a high-rise. I can’t imagine the amount of office equipment that was ruined. And the fact people were hurt in that cattle herd going down the stairs just makes me sick.

  I’ll have to send them cookie platters for years just to make it up to them. That is, if they let me near an oven in prison.

  “Knock, knock,” a familiar voice hums, and I look to find a very handsome detective letting himself inside.

  “Noah!” I latch onto him so tight my entire body convulses with relief. “Oh Noah, I’ve never been so glad to see you in my life.” I grip him by the cheeks and press a hard kiss over his lips. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” I inch back, my hand pressed over my mouth as if to guard it from happening again.

  Noah’s eyes are slow to open as if he were savoring the moment. His hands warm my back as he rides them up and down, and his breathing is heavy.

  “I’m not sorry, Lottie. Feel free to ply me with kisses anytime.” He offers up a sad smile, those evergreen eyes glinting my way. “I heard what happened. Lottie”—he pinches his eyes shut a moment—“you know better than that.”

  “It wasn’t me. It was Keelie. And I’m not entirely sure if she knows better than that.”

  A deep sigh expels from him, and it warms me. “You can’t run into danger like that. I know exactly why you were at the law firm. Did you speak with anyone?”

  I nod furtively. “Both Clayton and Ryan. They gave me a hot tip on a woman named Doreen Stearns. She’s Vivian’s cousin. Clayton thinks she did it. She works at some seedy nightclub in Leeds.” I make a face. “I’m sure you and Everett would love to tag along on that one.”

  His lips twist, but oddly enough Noah doesn’t look amused. “Lottie, I know you’re not going to like what I have to say, but I think I should be the only one tagging along with you.”

  My entire body sags. “Is this some sort of revenge for not standing by your side while your wife groveled to keep your marriage intact? I know where this is going. And you know how I feel about seeing a married man. It’s wrong. It’s morally corrupt. I feel bad enough I was sleeping with you and inadvertently turned myself into the other woman. I detest the other woman.”

  “I meant because I have a badge, and a gun. As much as I wish you would stay away from my homicide investigations in general—”

  “Your homicide investigations? Ha!” I try to push myself free, but Noah gives a crooked grin and holds on a little tighter. “I’ll have you know I’ve been personally invited to assist by the captain of the sheriff’s department. That’s hardly a small honor.” My voice hikes an octave, but I can’t help it. “And I’ve solved every homicide investigation your department has been a part of. Now I’m not saying anything disparaging about you personally, but I think my sleuthing skills are shining pretty brightly.”

  “And I agree.” Noah pulls me close again until my chest is pressed against his and I can feel the rhythm of his erratic breathing as I acquiesce to his warm embrace. “I’m saying you’re very lucky you haven’t been killed. And we both know you’ve come close almost every single time.”

  I wince because it happens to be true.

  His arms drop to their sides, and he takes a step back, his eyes still penetrating mine. “That’s why I think maybe you should hang out in here a little while longer.”

  “What?” I screech so loud my voice reverberates off the walls. “You are clinically insane if you think I should stay in this cell for one more minute.” Then it hits me. “Oh, I get it. This is where you expect me to start bargaining for my freedom. I take you back. Or better yet, I tell you my secret first, and then I take you back. Well, if that’s the case then—” A tall, brooding, vexingly handsome man darkens the doorway. “Oh, thank God! Everett, you have to get me out of here. Noah is trying to blackmail me. He wants me to dump you and hop back into bed with him or I’ll be forced to live in prison forever! And I’ll have to surrender unsavory favors if I ever want a manicure.” Not that I get them on the regular, but still.

  Everett shoots a bored look Noah’s way. “Personally, I’d choose prison.”

  “Well, I won’t. I choose freedom,” I howl as I do my best to rattle the bars, but they won’t budge. “Everett, help! He’s got the keys. He’s practically holding me hostage. Please get me out of here. I have to get home and take a long hot bath.” With you, I mouth in hopes to move th
ings along a little quicker.

  “Keys, Fox.” Judge Baxter wastes no time in barking out orders.

  “Everett”—Noah sounds resigned to the fact I’m not going home with him—quite possibly ever again—“she’s going to hurt herself one day on these reconnaissance missions. She went to speak with Clayton McDaniel and Ryan Holland this afternoon.”

  “I know.” Everett lifts an arm as if to stop him. “Captain Turner briefed me in the parking lot. He was taking Keelie home. I heard everything.” He reaches through the bars and picks up my hand.

  Noah steps in close. “It was downright dangerous, and you know it.”

  Everett takes a breath. “Lottie, he’s right. I don’t like this. I don’t like you putting yourself in harm’s way anytime you feel like you want to interrogate a suspect.”

  “And why is that?” I take a full step away from the both of them. “It’s because I’m a woman, isn’t it? You think I can’t take care of myself.”

  “You can’t.” The veins in Noah’s neck flex. “And it has nothing to do with the fact you’re a woman and everything to do with the fact you don’t have protection on you.”

  “Then I’ll get a gun.” My voice thunders around the vicinity, and my own ears can’t believe what just flew from my mouth. The very last thing I want to touch is a gun. I hate them. I hate that I need to depend on them. I hate that whenever I’m in the bowels of trouble I wish to God that Noah was around with his. “Okay, so I’m probably not going to get a gun. But neither of you is going to stop me from trying to track down the killer. They tried to pin Nessa’s death on me. This is personal.”

  Noah and Everett exchange a long hard look as if my resistance to firearms were each other’s fault.

  Everett sticks his tongue into his cheek a moment as he looks my way. “I don’t suppose I can stop you from going without me on these escapades?”

  “No.”

  He drops his gaze to the floor. “Then you’ll need alternate forms of protection.”

  Noah takes a deep breath as if we were both trying his patience. “I’ve got some self-defense moves I can teach you.”